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THE BLUE AND GOLD. '17.
ridden, desolated end of the globe. Imagine a sewer of one of fair villages with the top removed. In the back--ground is a 12 1/2 inch gun with some jolly knights of the flowing bowl celebrating the death of a mosquito into the harbor of thirst. In the foreground and ahead of that are the enemy. with a sign reading "Watchful. Waiting" in front of them to prevent the enemy from attacking. In the middle of your imaginative creation, perceive our hero. Colonel 2 T VanBum. hero of the battle of Yap's crossing where he saved the poodle dog of General M. T. Dome from destruction by chasing a hound away from the poodle. He is short and has promise of extension. His moustache has been raised a-la-Charlie Chaplin and his goosetrot reminds one of a t---ical ramble of one of our dill-pickle magnates. He is in deep conversation with his lifelong friend. Private Warren Out. The later is tall and very muscular due to the fact that lie has not any superfluous averdupois. His hair is cut Odger's Special style.
The following gab-fest takes precedence over other features-
2. T. VanBum : "How's fighting, Warren ?"
Warren-Out : "Oh ! Gittin' on, Kernel. how is every little detail?"
2. T. : "Oh ! she's alright. I heard from her yesterday. She is now working in a factory making boilers. She is having a lovely time, she says. And how is the fair light of your life?"
W. Out : "Oh ! She eloped with the son of the saur-kraut king. Coises! I will have revenge."
Exit.
Enter the light of Warren Out's life and the son of the saur-kraut king. (Izzy Sick).
2. T. "Who's there?"
I. S. "Friend and wife."
2. T. "Halt and give the countersign." I. S. "Oh! Spearmint, how Wriggley I feel."
2. T. "Right. Won't you stay and have a lunch with us?"
Izzy Sick accepts and is dined on stewed anchor line Raisens, nigger steak, boiled shoe-leather, and a yard of rubber hose.
In the meantime, Warren Out trails them and attempts to murder them by making a mosquito chase them. He fails, it fails, but the two did not fail.
After the grub-fight, 2. T. leaves them for a moment and they are left to the tender mercies of our hero Warren Out. Have a care, Izzy! He's a had man, relentless, and does, not pay his rent !
Warren Out creeps up on all fours with his trusty peashooter in his right hand, his shield in his left hand, and his cane in the other.
Taking deliberate aim at Izzy's nose and after drawing a deep breath the bloodthirsty man propels a pea with great force thru the peashooter and hits Izzy's prominent facial extension. Alas! and Aleck ! The nose drops off ! A pug of diminutive dimensions comes to view. Alas and Aleck again ! ! He is done for !
Warren Out :—"Vengeance is mine! Revenge!"
Issy Sick :—"Doomed ! Betrayed! Spilifated!"
Light of his life :—"False villun away ! l" Clinches Warren.
Curtain.